It's Hip to be Square
Alright deadbeats, let's cut the shitty introductions and get right to business. Firstly, my band didn't get together to practice today (what a surprise) and my day managed to be just about as counter-productive as yesterday (if that's even possible). Oh and about today's title...I decided I'd pay homage to some true words of widsom (not like that fortune cookie crap you get from Jonathon Edwards). Don't you know? It's hip to be square...thanks Huey Lewis and the News!
My apologies for even mentioning that 80's disaster. Today I was dragged along to a friend's place lured in by his promise of GTA: San Andreas "rOxOrInG mY bOxOrZ!!!111111". Right off the bat you should hit anybody with a bat who talks like that. Anyway with nothing better to do since my lame-ass band can't get a damn date right I decided to go along. Let me just say this, I thank God that I don't play or buy videogames for the music. HOLY SHIT...the kind of crap you get on most videogame soundtracks is amazing. While I was at this guy's house we were playing this other shitty game (some sort of generic racing game) and a Good Charlotte song came on. You know your game sucks when you feature Good Charlotte on your soundtrack. Still, I bit my lip hoping playing GTA (without having to pay for it I might add) would be worth it. Boy was I way off.
Where to begin. While still on the subject of music I must say that for the most part I wasn't impressed. We have 1 alternative rock station, 1 classic rock station, and about 8 or so hip-hop/funk/pop stations. I realize that the main character is black but GOD DAMN do they cram a fistful of hip-hop up your ass. I was quite disappointed with the "urbanized" way this game was developed. I suppose I should have seen this coming though considering Vice City was all over the Italian stereotypes. Nice work on effectively being "ghetto-pimp-gangsta-homie-g-unit" Rockstar! The whole time I played the game I wasn't sure whether I should "bust a funky lyric" or just kill myself.
Then there's the god awful names in this game. Wow, my gang's name is "The Grove Street Gang"...how intelligent and creative since we are a gang and we live in Grove Street. Seriously, what a pansy name. If I started a real gang called "The Grove Street Gang" people would probably think we're some sort of queer performing arts sissies. The character names don't get any better either. One of the other guys in your gang is named "Sweet". What kind of name is Sweet? Sounds like some sort of candyass to me. Why don't they just cut to the chase with all this "urbanizing" and rename the main character to "Snoop Dogg" already. Anyway enough about the new GTA, I'm starting to get pissed.
You know something? Today I woke up next to a girl that looked like Rikki Lake...jk...not even MY standards are that low. Although speaking of women I've certainly had my fill of all their bullshit lately. I met this bitchy short little hairy woman a few days ago. She was working the day shift at the library while I was checking out some old novels out of boredom. I guess I must have looked at her wrong because she came up to me and said in her shitty Gollum impression, "Make like Gollum and GO AWAY!". Wow lady, you're a real comedian. You've taken something REALLY topical and relevant (yeah, right) like LOTR and made a funny joke at the same time telling me to get lost. So I turned around to face the ugly little stump and in my BEST Gollum impression I said, "Stupid, fat hobbit!". Needless to say I'm banned from the library. Not that I care all that much, I hardly ever visit the library anyway unless I WANT to be reminded of what a 35 year old virgin looks like.
Another thing that happened lately that relates to women, a friend of mine introduced me to this girl a few days ago. I'll admit, the first thing I thought when I saw her was, "Damn" and "I'd hit it!". But after those first 5 minutes of bliss she decided to open her mouth and jabber on about her shitty taste in music and movies while I stared at her chest (well, maybe not "stared"...more like glanced at out of boredom). I managed to fake an interest pretty well before deciding to ask her to go get a drink (that way I could tolerate her better with some alcohol in me). We had a few drinks, a couple laughs, and I managed to somehow not score though I wasn't all that disappointed. I did find out the next day though that she was fucking my ex-rhythm guitarist. It does explain why he decided to quit to "do better things". Heh, I hope he gets AIDs before I do.
The last thing that happened today was that I started writing my screenplay. It's basically a series of movies about the events leading up to, including, and after the apocalypse. It reads like a big-budget Hollywood blockbuster but it'll probably end up being a shitty B-movie with the kind of money I make. But I still got Hollywood dreams...it's pretty much the reason people call me Callywood (since most of my friends think I'll either get famous as a musician or in the movies). If I ever do get famous, I'm pulling a Gene Simmons and sleeping with everybody and anybody pretty much any chance I get...oh wait...I already do that. Heh, cheers to my fellow deadbeats and losers!
This is Callywood signing off.
My apologies for even mentioning that 80's disaster. Today I was dragged along to a friend's place lured in by his promise of GTA: San Andreas "rOxOrInG mY bOxOrZ!!!111111". Right off the bat you should hit anybody with a bat who talks like that. Anyway with nothing better to do since my lame-ass band can't get a damn date right I decided to go along. Let me just say this, I thank God that I don't play or buy videogames for the music. HOLY SHIT...the kind of crap you get on most videogame soundtracks is amazing. While I was at this guy's house we were playing this other shitty game (some sort of generic racing game) and a Good Charlotte song came on. You know your game sucks when you feature Good Charlotte on your soundtrack. Still, I bit my lip hoping playing GTA (without having to pay for it I might add) would be worth it. Boy was I way off.
Where to begin. While still on the subject of music I must say that for the most part I wasn't impressed. We have 1 alternative rock station, 1 classic rock station, and about 8 or so hip-hop/funk/pop stations. I realize that the main character is black but GOD DAMN do they cram a fistful of hip-hop up your ass. I was quite disappointed with the "urbanized" way this game was developed. I suppose I should have seen this coming though considering Vice City was all over the Italian stereotypes. Nice work on effectively being "ghetto-pimp-gangsta-homie-g-unit" Rockstar! The whole time I played the game I wasn't sure whether I should "bust a funky lyric" or just kill myself.
Then there's the god awful names in this game. Wow, my gang's name is "The Grove Street Gang"...how intelligent and creative since we are a gang and we live in Grove Street. Seriously, what a pansy name. If I started a real gang called "The Grove Street Gang" people would probably think we're some sort of queer performing arts sissies. The character names don't get any better either. One of the other guys in your gang is named "Sweet". What kind of name is Sweet? Sounds like some sort of candyass to me. Why don't they just cut to the chase with all this "urbanizing" and rename the main character to "Snoop Dogg" already. Anyway enough about the new GTA, I'm starting to get pissed.
You know something? Today I woke up next to a girl that looked like Rikki Lake...jk...not even MY standards are that low. Although speaking of women I've certainly had my fill of all their bullshit lately. I met this bitchy short little hairy woman a few days ago. She was working the day shift at the library while I was checking out some old novels out of boredom. I guess I must have looked at her wrong because she came up to me and said in her shitty Gollum impression, "Make like Gollum and GO AWAY!". Wow lady, you're a real comedian. You've taken something REALLY topical and relevant (yeah, right) like LOTR and made a funny joke at the same time telling me to get lost. So I turned around to face the ugly little stump and in my BEST Gollum impression I said, "Stupid, fat hobbit!". Needless to say I'm banned from the library. Not that I care all that much, I hardly ever visit the library anyway unless I WANT to be reminded of what a 35 year old virgin looks like.
Another thing that happened lately that relates to women, a friend of mine introduced me to this girl a few days ago. I'll admit, the first thing I thought when I saw her was, "Damn" and "I'd hit it!". But after those first 5 minutes of bliss she decided to open her mouth and jabber on about her shitty taste in music and movies while I stared at her chest (well, maybe not "stared"...more like glanced at out of boredom). I managed to fake an interest pretty well before deciding to ask her to go get a drink (that way I could tolerate her better with some alcohol in me). We had a few drinks, a couple laughs, and I managed to somehow not score though I wasn't all that disappointed. I did find out the next day though that she was fucking my ex-rhythm guitarist. It does explain why he decided to quit to "do better things". Heh, I hope he gets AIDs before I do.
The last thing that happened today was that I started writing my screenplay. It's basically a series of movies about the events leading up to, including, and after the apocalypse. It reads like a big-budget Hollywood blockbuster but it'll probably end up being a shitty B-movie with the kind of money I make. But I still got Hollywood dreams...it's pretty much the reason people call me Callywood (since most of my friends think I'll either get famous as a musician or in the movies). If I ever do get famous, I'm pulling a Gene Simmons and sleeping with everybody and anybody pretty much any chance I get...oh wait...I already do that. Heh, cheers to my fellow deadbeats and losers!
This is Callywood signing off.
posted by Callywood at 1:47 AM
4 Comments:
Stock For Your Review - FCPG
Current Profile
Faceprint Global Solutions (FCPG)
Current Price $0.15
A U.S. based-company dedicated to the goal of
bringing effective security solutions to the marketplace.
With violent and white-collar terrorism on the rise,
companies are starving for innovative security solutions.
FCPG is set to bring hot new security solutions to
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Please Review Exactly What this Company Does.
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FCPG acquired Montreal-based Apometrix Technologies,
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�This is a very positive move for FCPG and for Keyvelop,� said FCPG
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This is a continuation of the progress made by everyone associated
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Buell Duncan, IBM's general manager of ISV & Developer Relations commented,
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Nano Superlattice Technology Inc. (OTCBB Symbol: NSLT) is a nanotechnology company engaged in the coating of tools and components with nano structured PVD coatings for high-tech industries.
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