Welcome to the Jungle
Greatings fellow deadbeats!
Today is the beginning of what will probably be a very drawn out blog. I suppose introductions are in order. I'm Callywood (or at least that's what people call me) and I'm the lead singer of the unknown but soon-to-be-up-and-coming Canadian metal band Cipher Hour. If you're reading this you probably don't give a rats ass and you know what? You shouldn't since my band has yet to succeed at doing anything worthwhile. If you're reading and plan on being a long time reader for the long and asinine posts that'll surely follow this one you should know, most of this blog is going to consist of me moaning about my band, my life, and ranting about pretty much everything. So if you're interested in the moaning and raving of a deadbeat, you're in the right place.
Today is a good day to start a blog because it's a memorable day. A time of rememberance of those who gave their lives for yours and my freedom. If you couldn't guess already then you're probably a moron, but I'm talking about Rememberance Day. Yes, bring out your grannies and grandpas and parade them down the street with bagpipe fanfare in the background...this shit is the same every year. Right off the bat I just have to say that I respect the veterans, what they did, what they sacrificed, and I'm all for the celebration and the respect of that deed.
I'm not for the fucking lame ass, drawn out, kink-in-my-back-from-standing-in-silence-for-so-long ceremonies. Sure I'll bow my head in silence for a minute or two and sure I'll sing O' Canada and kiss some old guys ass till Tuesday...but dammit all if I have to listen to that "Flander's Fields" poem one more god damn time! Can't we find some new way to respect and honor these guys without having to hear the same poems and the same songs over and over again every year?
"But Callywood, it's only once a year!"
Yeah? Blow me. Just because it's only once a year doesn't mean the ceremony has to feel like someone pulling your teeth out through your ass. How about some new music instead of the same old church hymns? How about some new poems or stories instead of this poppy crap? Just because it's a serious and dramatic event doesn't mean it has to be boring and repetative.
"But Callywood, if you hate it so much, why don't you just not go?"
And stay home and watch the 13, 000 TV specials on it? That's a nice thought. I've got one of those families that drag me to these things every year whether I like it or not. I don't give them any lip about it because my grandfather fought in WW II and I respect that. But sometimes I wish I could just sleep in, mute the channel they're broadcasting the thing from and have my own minute of silence before getting on with my life.
Interesting enough, during the ceremony they had a helicopter fly over the parade and drop poppies on everybody. For a moment I imagined they were dropping those fake poppies with the pins in them and I pictured people being stabbed and suffering puncture wounds. I laughed a little so I know I'm going to hell.
Enough about Rememberance Day though. Today I searched for the 50th time on the net and in the paper for any mentioning of a rhythm guitarist available to play in a band. My band (Cipher Hour) has been looking for a 5th member for about 2 and a half months now. You'd think it would be easier to find someone that enjoys metal/hard rock and can play guitar in my area (Vancouver). Well that's Canada for you, completely useless (and sadly I can't say much better about the band members I DO have).
We're probably practicing tomorrow but no guarantees...it sucks ass playing together when we're missing a guy and the covers we do suck ass. My drummer is obsessed with RHCP and Velvet Revolver and whenever anybody else suggests something half decent he turns it down unless it's one of the two mentioned (or Blink 182...God I fucking hate that band). I don't get too mad at him though because he's fat and that's punishment enough.
Oh and in case you were lured by the title and thought I was going to talk about Guns N' Roses, you weren't entirely mislead. I'm a self proclaimed Guns N' Roses nut and you'll probably see a whole post/rant dedicated to them pretty soon. I used one of their song titles mostly because it fits the situation and my younger cousin just dropped by to borrow my Appetite For Destruction CD. I couldn't be more proud that my cousin is so heavily into classic/hard rock as opposed to what is popular with his peers (pop-shit and hippedy hop). I'm hoping to introduce him to some more awesome bands soon enough (but you never wanna rush these things).
Anyway, I've kind of jumped around a lot and I'm about to get pretty damn wasted. It's the only way I can pass the time when I'm bored or its late and nobody is around. Yeah, I know I'm a singer and drinking is bad for the ol' vocal chords. Fuck you. I do what I want. They don't call me a deadbeat for nothing.
This is Callywood signing off.
Today is the beginning of what will probably be a very drawn out blog. I suppose introductions are in order. I'm Callywood (or at least that's what people call me) and I'm the lead singer of the unknown but soon-to-be-up-and-coming Canadian metal band Cipher Hour. If you're reading this you probably don't give a rats ass and you know what? You shouldn't since my band has yet to succeed at doing anything worthwhile. If you're reading and plan on being a long time reader for the long and asinine posts that'll surely follow this one you should know, most of this blog is going to consist of me moaning about my band, my life, and ranting about pretty much everything. So if you're interested in the moaning and raving of a deadbeat, you're in the right place.
Today is a good day to start a blog because it's a memorable day. A time of rememberance of those who gave their lives for yours and my freedom. If you couldn't guess already then you're probably a moron, but I'm talking about Rememberance Day. Yes, bring out your grannies and grandpas and parade them down the street with bagpipe fanfare in the background...this shit is the same every year. Right off the bat I just have to say that I respect the veterans, what they did, what they sacrificed, and I'm all for the celebration and the respect of that deed.
I'm not for the fucking lame ass, drawn out, kink-in-my-back-from-standing-in-silence-for-so-long ceremonies. Sure I'll bow my head in silence for a minute or two and sure I'll sing O' Canada and kiss some old guys ass till Tuesday...but dammit all if I have to listen to that "Flander's Fields" poem one more god damn time! Can't we find some new way to respect and honor these guys without having to hear the same poems and the same songs over and over again every year?
"But Callywood, it's only once a year!"
Yeah? Blow me. Just because it's only once a year doesn't mean the ceremony has to feel like someone pulling your teeth out through your ass. How about some new music instead of the same old church hymns? How about some new poems or stories instead of this poppy crap? Just because it's a serious and dramatic event doesn't mean it has to be boring and repetative.
"But Callywood, if you hate it so much, why don't you just not go?"
And stay home and watch the 13, 000 TV specials on it? That's a nice thought. I've got one of those families that drag me to these things every year whether I like it or not. I don't give them any lip about it because my grandfather fought in WW II and I respect that. But sometimes I wish I could just sleep in, mute the channel they're broadcasting the thing from and have my own minute of silence before getting on with my life.
Interesting enough, during the ceremony they had a helicopter fly over the parade and drop poppies on everybody. For a moment I imagined they were dropping those fake poppies with the pins in them and I pictured people being stabbed and suffering puncture wounds. I laughed a little so I know I'm going to hell.
Enough about Rememberance Day though. Today I searched for the 50th time on the net and in the paper for any mentioning of a rhythm guitarist available to play in a band. My band (Cipher Hour) has been looking for a 5th member for about 2 and a half months now. You'd think it would be easier to find someone that enjoys metal/hard rock and can play guitar in my area (Vancouver). Well that's Canada for you, completely useless (and sadly I can't say much better about the band members I DO have).
We're probably practicing tomorrow but no guarantees...it sucks ass playing together when we're missing a guy and the covers we do suck ass. My drummer is obsessed with RHCP and Velvet Revolver and whenever anybody else suggests something half decent he turns it down unless it's one of the two mentioned (or Blink 182...God I fucking hate that band). I don't get too mad at him though because he's fat and that's punishment enough.
Oh and in case you were lured by the title and thought I was going to talk about Guns N' Roses, you weren't entirely mislead. I'm a self proclaimed Guns N' Roses nut and you'll probably see a whole post/rant dedicated to them pretty soon. I used one of their song titles mostly because it fits the situation and my younger cousin just dropped by to borrow my Appetite For Destruction CD. I couldn't be more proud that my cousin is so heavily into classic/hard rock as opposed to what is popular with his peers (pop-shit and hippedy hop). I'm hoping to introduce him to some more awesome bands soon enough (but you never wanna rush these things).
Anyway, I've kind of jumped around a lot and I'm about to get pretty damn wasted. It's the only way I can pass the time when I'm bored or its late and nobody is around. Yeah, I know I'm a singer and drinking is bad for the ol' vocal chords. Fuck you. I do what I want. They don't call me a deadbeat for nothing.
This is Callywood signing off.

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